The One Who Does the Inviting.

I’m the one who makes makes the plans, makes the phone calls, makes the friends get together.

What if I didn’t?

We live in this strange time when people just don’t spend the in-person time together that they should. Instead of going to knock on a friend’s door to say hello, we might give them a phone call. Instead of giving them a phone call, we might drop them a text and just say, “Hi.”

While this is better than no communication at all, and while it’s good for people who live in geographically far away places, I don’t think it’s healthy for people who live just minutes apart. People need interaction. They need hugs. (well, at least those of us that it’s our love language.) They need to look into each other’s eyes, furrow their brows, laugh, flip others off, anything that gets a conversation going–in person.

This isn’t just while you’re at home. This is true at work too. We all have email and messenger applications at work. What if instead of sending an email, you stood up and walked over to the person’s desk? Not only could you make them smile by bringing them a Starburst, but you could also learn more, through conversation, than you might have from just an email.

Plus–“email has no tone.” My husband says this to me time and again. You don’t really know if what you are reading into an email is the case–because you can’t see the person.

Sometimes, though, being “the one who does the inviting” can be exhausting. You might wonder: Why am I doing this? The other people don’t bother. If I stop, we won’t see each other at all. In fact, I don’t think they care that much about me anyways.


Why would you let this happen? True–maybe you are doing more work–but remember that what you are doing is good for other people. You are doing them a favor by getting them out of the house. You might be providing them with a service (another love language, by the way) that they are too afraid or just aren’t good at providing themselves.

People who own coffee shops create meet-up events, where “birds of a feather” can hang out and work on their hobbies. This could be a write-in, a crochet group, or a guitar jam. They do it not only to generate more income but also because it builds a community. It’s great to be able to bring people together–to make them not feel alone.

You–the people-gatherer, the organizer–are giving your friends a gift by bringing them together.

Don’t stop. They need you.



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Author: Susan Pitman

Susan is an artist who grew up in Massachusetts and now lives in Texas. She writes songs, short stories, and books. You can follow @kitykity on Twitter.

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